Christmas is for...

 Little kids, first.

These are little first graders from Casey and Riley's school, performing a song at the holiday concert last week. They were led by my friend Tracy, who has been teaching them music in the Music For Minors program. They did an amazingly good job of their three songs, and I was really impressed with them, and with Tracy's teaching. They also kind of broke my heart. They were so enthusiastic, so happy. And of course all of us were thinking of the little first graders from the school in Connecticut who are gone, or the ones still alive, who are traumatized by what happened in their school. Kids are resilient, there's no doubt, but to have something like that happen to your community or your family, even if you didn't even directly witness it, leaves permanent, altering marks on your psyche. The kids left will be different people now than they would have been before this happened. They've lost that innocent joy that these kids you see in this picture still have. And that is a tragedy of a less easily seen nature, and not something that can be given back to them no matter how much therapy or aid they're given.

The Holiday Concert was fun, happy, and bittersweet all at the same time, at least for me. My guys are in sixth grade now and they've grown out of a lot of the spontaneous gestures that the little kids have. They've become much more conscious of what others might think of them and it inhibits them in some ways, while it also makes them say and do really stupid things in vain attempts to be cool. I suppose it's a natural part of growing up, after all we look at adults weirdly if they shriek and jump up and down and do flips all over the furniture. So maybe they do have to learn to be conscious of what others think. But I miss that uninhibited joy. Okay, with my guys the flips over the furniture are still happening, but they're learning to control everything else a little more. And it's a little sad when the Christmas stuff is colored with them not wanting to do some things anymore because they're too silly or babyish now.

Holidays are so hard for many of us; there's so much expectation of happiness, and you're supposed to spend it with family and be loving and perfect and all. And it's never a perfect thing, really; even if you have a great family there's still friction and arguments and over-tired kids who melt down and things like that. If you manage to have a near perfect Christmas with kids, that's a Christmas miracle, really. If you don't have family or you're estranged from what family you have, you're faced with what you don't or can't have. It's hard in so many ways. Holidays bring up all of those things and people we've lost, or never had.

It's hard to go on after losing a loved one. My wise friend Annette told me a while back that holidays were especially hard, and that one had to find ways to make new traditions for holidays, make complete breaks with the old traditions that were Before. And that makes so much sense. But as she said, it takes time. What she didn't dwell upon, but is a great example of, is that it takes a ton of courage, perseverance, and determination to keep going, one small step at a time, to rebuild a life from the ashes of the loss. I wish for all of those parents in Connecticut the strength to go on, and the perseverance to find a pathway through the dark times they're going through now.

The Christmas season has always been a bittersweet time for me, and it can be hard for me to stay 'up' during it. I think with increased age, however, I'm coming to accept that melancholy is a part of the holidays for me; I need time to mourn people and things lost, as well as to savor the goodness in my life. I need a balance where both sides are acknowledged and recognized and felt, rather than trying to stuff the sad parts down and deny them. Christmas is not all about happy-happy all the time, not for me, not anymore. I used to love Christmas and all the implied magic surrounding the winter holidays. I felt that magic in a very real way, but it became harder and harder to feel, to rediscover that magic as the years went by. Life experiences tend to change us from those innocently joyous little kids we used to be. But bittersweet can be a good thing; it makes me savor the good parts, remember the parts that are irrevocably in the past and do some mourning if it's needed, and be able to see and recognize the good parts happening now that are fleeting in their own way. There's a lot to be said for enjoying the moment.

I am so incredibly fortunate with all my family and friends, and this Christmas especially it seems appropriate to appreciate all of the wonderful people in my life and to say thank you for being part of my life, though many of you are scattered all over the globe. I am a lucky person and you all make my life richer. Merry Christmas, all of you. Hope you can find some of the magic, too. I'm sending out virtual *hugs* to you all. 

Consonance 2011

Wednesday already, and the week is slipping by me. I've been processing photos taken at Consonance like a mad person, and they're in a convenient album over on Picasa. Feel free to see them as a slide show to get the flavor, and if you want to download certain ones or get prints, please do. Just don't use them for commercial purposes without permission, please. Lots of pics of wild musicians hanging out playing guitars and such.

Tony and Jeff during open filking on Friday night.

Music cons used to be a very integral part of our life; time constraints and kids and lack of funds have made us really cut back on how many we can go to these days. It's a great bonus for us that Consonance happens once a year at a hotel about a mile and a half from our house. The boys love going. This year was the first year that Riley really felt like a part of the action; he joined in the Friday night drum circle, sat in on Joe Giacoio's Guitar Workshop (though it's hard to know at this stage how much he got out of it; he's now experimenting with Open D guitar tuning) and he joined the Sunday night Rock Jam. With great enthusiasm, as you can see:

Riley at the Rock Jam. Taken by John O'Halloran with my camera.

The concerts that I managed to get to were great; Margaret and Kristoph entertained the crowd with their usual impeccable performance abilities. Kristoph runs sound during the whole convention, as well as loaning all of their sound equipment for the duration of the con. It's hard to guess what Consonance would do without his generosity with his equipment and his skills and time.

Margaret and Kristoph.

Chris Malm, the International Guest over from the UK, played a set with a fun mixture of funny, sad and spooky songs that were all new to me.

Chris Malm in concert.

I loved his voice as well as his accent. Oh shut up. I know it's a cliche to love other people's accents, I don't care. Great performance all around.
The Guests of Honors' concert set was amazing and hilarious. Maybe you had to be there. It ended up with Joe's song about men wearing women's clothing and had a whole crew of guys wearing aprons on stage dancing and a bra that ended up being thrown into the audience...

How to explain?
Carla Ulbrich and Joe Giacoio are pro musicians who come to the filk cons when asked and join wholeheartedly in with the madness and chaos. Well, at their GOH concert they created a whole new level of crazy chaos and mayhem.Their soundcheck was a whole experience in itself.

 

Joe during the soundcheck. Best.Soundcheck.Ever.

Carla did a number of her funny songs, and read an excerpt from her new book, which sounds like a winner. I may have been wheezing the loudest at her list of things you don't want to hear when you've been diagnosed with a chronic illness, since it all hit close to home. Funny, poignant stuff. As one would expect from a wit like Carla.

Carla reads a list of What Not To Say from her new book.

Joe is one of the most innovative and unusual guitars players I've ever seen; he does wild percussive things with both hands while playing a song as well as singing. You'd have to see and hear it to believe it, really.

Joe gets crazy with his guitar.

Then he invited guys up on stage and launched into the song about wearing women's clothing. Now the rumor was that whenever he performs this song, the joke is on the volunteers and they end up slinking away as they realize what the song is saying. Not this crowd. Aprons got tossed up on stage, the guys donned them and formed a chorus kick-line while singing lustily along.

And there was the bra thing, too.

Let's just be clear; it wasn't Carla's bra.

A raucous good time was had by all, needless to say.

Kris, Maya, Jeff Bohnhoff with crazed interloper Debbie Ohi.

And all that was only up to Saturday night; I missed a number of great concerts because i was busy Saturday during the day. Sunday brought a whole new set of concerts and workshops.

At Joe's guitar workshop.

Paul's concert went smoothly and he did a number of funny and serious songs with the help of various guest musicians asked up to help out.

Debbie on flute, Paul, Vixy and Kathleen on vocals.

He also snuck in a few joke songs aimed at some select people. Debbie was prominently featured and swore revenge:

Paul's song about Debbie Taking Over The World.

And Jeff and Maya had their own concert, a tour-de-force of witty lyrics, soaring vocals and guitar wizardry.

Jeff, Tony, Maya and Vixy.

Jeff and Maya's daughter Kris joined them on a couple of songs as well.

Kris singing lead on 'Stuck On Tattoine Again'.

And Jeff got to rock out with his electric guitar:

Jeff bonds with his electric guitar.

And of course the kids all hung out together, soaking in the music as a natural way of life and having a great time together.

Amanda shows Casey how to make really big bubbles.

The next generation of The Zombie Apocalypse.

Amanda's mad bubbleology skills.

The kids in action.

Altogether a fun, satisfying weekend full of lots of great music, humor and good friends we don't see nearly often enough. sigh.